From the mailbag

Since I've been out for over a month I decided that I should check the hotmail account today and see if the readers had any questions...or at the very least wondered what had happened to me.

Sure enough there was a letter waiting for me:

NATIONAL LIVERWOOD LOTTERY INC.
18 Herbert Road,Sol hall,West Midlands,
B91 3QEUnited Kingdom
NATIONAL LIVERWOOD LOTTERY WINNERS NOTICE

Dear Prize winner,

Congratulations Category A prize winner! You have been selected as one of two winners of the NATIONAL LIVERWOOD LOTTERY,computer ballot draws ofthe 2008 first edition promotion and thus will be a privileged recipient of the grand draw prize of £1,500,000,000 (One million five hundred thousandGreat Britain Pounds only).You/Your company, attached to Winning File Reference number LIUK/5020/0261/20; ticket number 219-8IO-97/A. Please contact our agent by email with your full contact details and please find full contact details below; Mr Mark WilliamsCLAIMS DIRECTOREXTOL FINANCE INC. U.K.Email:extol_linkagent@yahoo.com.hk Also find all other relevant winning lottery information below:

Congratulations once again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program.

Sincerely,
THE LOTTERY COORDINATOR,NATIONAL LIVERWOOD LOTTERY INC.
United Kingdom.

He works in mysterious ways!!!

Christian Values?

So after a brief hiatus I'm back. Last month was pretty rough. There were two deaths that hit pretty close to home and I took a new job that I'll start a little later this year and I wasn't able to dedicate any time to blogging. However, things have slowed down some and I'd like to introduce you to a new website...http://www.blogger.com/www.metrospy.com.

Metrospy is a website dedicated to ultra cool stuff such as spreading ultra conservative messages through the selling of t-shirts, posters and bumper stickers. It's much the same type of website as christianswag.com that I posted on a few months ago.

Typically I prefer to stay out of the political arena. It's my feeling that most politicians are human...save Barack...have you heard that man speak?...tell me that velvety smooth voice isn't the voice of an angel...Uhm anyways..yes voting is important, but ultimately my hope is in something bigger.

Well I'm making the exception for Metrospy in large part because of this bumper sticker in which they state their values:

Let's see how I line up:

The Cross: Check...I love Jesus.

Family: Even though this isn't a picture of my family and is instead a picture of the bathroom gender identifier people (congrats on the two kids by the way) I still support families.

Lake Michigan: I'm all for it. Once my own family vacationed there when I was in middle school. It was great!

The Flag: God Bless it...In the immortal words of Lee Greenwood...I'll proudly stand up next to you. Despite our faults I still think America is capable of great things.

A Gun: Well three out of four isn't bad I guess...Unless there was a question that went with the bumper sticker...something along the lines of "Which of the following is least like the others". After a double take I'm pretty sure the fetus is holding a toy gun.

I'll give Metrospy the benefit of the doubt though...let's look at their mission statement and see.

• Our creative team designs all t-shirts, jackets and caps you see on this site. Many of our creations include edgy, often controversial political slogans. As a company, we don't believe in needless recycling programs and we don't go out of our way to to use 'Earth-Friendly' materials during our manufacturing processes. Some of our pre-manufactured raw goods are produced in overseas sweatshops where the workers make only ten cents a day. We're 'OK' with that. At MetroSpy, our most important considerations have to do with our customers. Our customers want value and service for their hard earned money.

Let's try one more time:

• Human beings are not destroying the planet. In a 100,000 years the Earth will still be here. Over the next hundred years however, things may get warmer and things may get cooler. Either way, we don't care. During the next ice-age we expect to sell more sweatshirts than t-shirts and more beanies than baseball caps. Overall, future sales look pretty good. On a daily basis, we drive gas guzzling SUVs to make deliveries, we have bar-b-ques on Fridays and we use all manner of canned aerosols to clean and disinfect after a liberal leaves our office.

Maybe not. Thanks for representing Jesus oh so well!

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried to.